There is No One Right Way
A Reflection from last week
I started a new course last week. One of the daily practices involves listening to a brief audio recording in the morning and two more throughout the day, then practicing a skill and tracking progress.
Each evening last week, I found myself at bedtime, putting in my earbuds, listening to the recording that I was supposed to hear that morning. I noticed the thought forming: I still haven't figured out how to do this right.
Then I paused and leaned into curiosity instead of criticism. Is this actually working for me? What I found surprised me. I relaxed more quickly at night. I went to sleep earlier, without relying on Netflix to wind down. My sleep score went up. And without any intentional effort, I started practicing the day's skill during waking hours on my own.
Imperfect. Out of sequence. And somehow, still working.
The Coaching Insight
We are taught early that there is one right way to build a habit. Show up at the same time every day. Don't miss the first two weeks. If you skip a day, you've broken the chain.
And when we don't follow the rules, the story we tell ourselves is familiar: not enough willpower. Not enough discipline. Not enough.
Often, we give up entirely. But I keep coming back to something I saw thousands of times as a pediatrician. Infants learning to walk don't follow a protocol. They pull up on the coffee table, let go, take one tentative step, and land on their backside. Then they get up and try again. They don't interpret falling as evidence that they're not a walker. They just keep going, in their own way, on their own timeline.
What if we gave ourselves the same permission?
A Tool for This Week
Bring to mind a goal or habit you have been pursuing and haven't quite hit yet. Something you've labeled as "not working" or quietly set aside.
Ask yourself:
What is actually getting in my way?
Is there a version of this that feels more natural to me, even if it doesn't look the way I expected?
What would it look like to keep trying, imperfectly, inconsistently, partially?
Then try that version this week. Not the version from the book, the course, or the protocol. Your version.
A Closing Thought
We are just past the halfway point of the year. This is not a checkpoint for judgment. It's an invitation to begin again.
Pick one habit you've given up on. Try it again, in whatever form fits your life right now. Inconsistently, if you must. Partially, if that's all there is.
I set a gentle reminder for myself each morning for the daily focus in my course. I’m hitting play most days before noon. I’m counting that as a win!
There isn't one right way to build a habit. There is a right way for you. One that fits your identity, your values, your lifestyle, and your capacity in this moment.