Choosing Yes Carefully
Saying Yes
A few weeks ago, someone I respect invited me to join a project that sounded meaningful, well-timed, and honestly...a little flattering.
My first instinct was to say yes before I had even finished reading the email.
That reaction felt familiar.
Many of us in medicine and leadership are conditioned to:
Show up.
Help.
Solve problems.
Never let people down.
But this time, I waited.
I sat with the invitation for a day and asked myself the same questions I now ask my coaching clients.
The answer became surprisingly clear.
It was a good opportunity.
It simply wasn't my opportunity—not in this season.
So I said no.
And I experienced that strange combination of relief and guilt that so many high achievers know well.
What "Saying Yes" Really Means
A genuine yes isn't simply willingness.
A true yes is a commitment that:
advances your mission
aligns with your values
fits the capacity and energy you actually have
If it doesn't meet all three?
It's probably a no.
Or perhaps more accurately...
It's simply not yours to carry.
Where My Yeses Are Going Right Now
In this season, my energy is intentionally invested in:
Growing my coaching practice and entrepreneurial work
Supporting my clients
Prioritizing my health
Being present for my family
Investing in meaningful relationships
Protecting sleep, movement, nutrition, and restoration
Naming these priorities has made saying no much easier.
It has also made my yeses much more meaningful.
Your Yes Changes With Each Season
Early in our careers, saying yes often helps us:
learn
experiment and improve
build relationships and networks
discover new opportunities
Later, as our clarity grows, the default often becomes:
No...unless something clearly moves us toward the life we want to build..
"A yes is a promise—to your future self and to the people you love and serve."
A Tool: The Yes Filter
Before saying yes, pause and ask yourself:
Energy Check
Does this support the life I'm trying to build?
Will it cost me sleep, recovery, movement, or time with the people who matter most?
Alignment Check
Does this align with my values?
Does it strengthen a relationship that matters?
Can I do this well with the time I actually have?
If the answer is yes...
Identify your next three actions while your motivation is high.
If the answer is no...
Decline with gratitude.
One of my favorite responses is simply: "I'm at capacity right now."
It's honest, kind, and complete.
If it's "not now"...
Choose a date to revisit it.
Otherwise, it quietly occupies mental space long after you've forgotten about it.
✦ Your Gentle Reminders ✦
Every unnecessary yes has a cost.
Often it doesn't show up immediately.
Instead, it slowly becomes:
fatigue
irritability
overwhelm
resentment
Protecting your wellbeing starts with protecting your yes.
Most worthwhile opportunities will still be there six months from now.
The version of you who is rested, grounded, and clear will make far better decisions than the version trying to earn approval by saying yes to everything.
This week, notice one commitment you accepted out of guilt or habit.
Ask yourself:
Did this truly deserve my yes?
Sometimes awareness alone is enough to begin making different choices.