Making Overwhelm less common & less sticky
Overwhelm is often described as having too much to do.
And sometimes, that is true.
The inbox is full. The schedule is packed. The meetings are stacked. The patient messages, decisions, family needs, leadership responsibilities, and life logistics all seem to arrive at once.
But I have been thinking about overwhelm a little differently.
What if overwhelm is not only about the load itself — but about our relationship to the load?
How much of it are we carrying unnecessarily?
How much have we given ourselves permission to let go of?
How much are we trying to control alone?
For many of us in medicine and leadership, overwhelm becomes sticky because we assume everything that arrives is ours to hold, solve, answer, fix, or carry immediately.
When you open your inbox today, what would shift if your first thought was not:
“I have to deal with this right now.”
But instead:
“This arrived. I can decide what needs my attention now, what can wait, what can be delegated, and what is not mine to carry.”
That pause could change your whole day.
Start with noticing.
Recognize & Reframe
Overwhelm is a feeling. It is real, but it is not permanent.
It happens in a moment. It rises, it takes up space, and eventually, it passes. It is not a fact. It is not your identity. It is not proof that you are failing or not working hard enough.
One of the most useful coaching tools I have learned is the chain of lived experience:
Situation → Thought → Feeling → Action → Result
The situation may be neutral:
An inbox full of messages.
A packed clinic schedule.
A difficult meeting.
A long list of decisions.
But the thought we attach to it often creates the weight:
“I will never catch up.”
“I have to do this perfectly.”
“Everyone needs something from me.”
“If I don’t handle this, no one will.”
“I should be able to manage this better.”
Those thoughts create the feeling of overwhelm.
The goal is not to pretend the work is easy. The goal is to notice the thought that is making the burden heavier and consider a different thought:
“This is a lot, and I can take one next step.”
“I do not have to solve everything at once.”
“Everything is figure-outable.”
Protect Your Mission
What you pay attention to grows.
Overwhelm often expands when everything feels equally urgent. But not everything deserves the same level of time, energy, and attention.
One of the most powerful questions we can ask is:
Does this serve what matters most right now?
For physicians and healthcare leaders, what matters most may include caring for patients, leading well, supporting your team, protecting your health, being present with your family, or building something meaningful.
Overwhelm grows when too many tasks pull you away from those things. So part of reducing overwhelm is learning to protect your mission.
That may mean:
Delaying what does not need to happen today
Saying no to meetings that do not need your voice
Letting some emails or messages wait until tomorrow
Delegating decisions that do not require your expertise
Doing less of what drains you and more of what aligns with your values
Your time, energy, attention, and health are not unlimited resources.
“No is a complete sentence.”
Minimize distraction
Overwhelm is not only created by big responsibilities. It is also created by constant interruption.
The marketing email you did not ask for.
The group text that keeps buzzing (I finally learned how to silence these!)
The comparison scroll that leaves you feeling less than.
The “quick check” that turns into 10 minutes of scrolling and mental clutter.
Distraction fragments our attention. A simple place to start:
Unsubscribe from what no longer serves you. (for iPhone, use the Unsubscribe from the banner on top of the message)
Turn off notifications that you don’t need
Notice when you are falling into “compare and despair” and step away
Create a small morning anchor of intentions — 5-minute journal, sticky note, Reminders in your phone, Insights timer app
Run through your day before it begins
The question is not, “How do I control the whole day?” because you can’t.
A better question may be:
How do I want to enter this day?
“Stop wandering the aisles. Start with intention.”
Block time & Own your schedule
There is a lot we cannot control.
We cannot control every patient need, every operational challenge, every staffing issue, every family demand, or every unexpected message.
But we can often control more than we think.
We can take five minutes before the first meeting or patient visit to look at the day and ask:
What matters most today?
What must get done?
What can wait?
Where do I need help?
Where do I need a boundary?
We can work in focused chunks. Default meetings to 25 and 50 minutes instead of 30/60.
We can stop after 45 minutes of messages or charting and take a real break.
We can protect transition time.
We can create calendar blocks for thinking, charting, writing, planning, or recovery.
We can end on time when possible — not because we care less, but because boundaries are part of sustainability.
A nod to my oldest son: “The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you are the pilot.”
Ask for help
Many high-achieving people are very good at carrying things.
We carry responsibility.
We carry expectations.
We carry the emotional weight of our teams, families, patients, and organizations.
We carry the belief that asking for help means we are not doing enough.
But overwhelm often grows when we grip too tightly.
If you tend toward perfectionism, control, or staying busy, it may be worth asking:
Is this helping me — or is it feeding the feeling of overwhelm?
Help can look like delegation.
It can look like telling your team what you are trying to accomplish so they can support you.
It can look like asking a colleague for perspective.
It can look like coaching, therapy, mentorship, friendship, or simply saying out loud, “I am carrying too much right now.”
Overwhelm is a normal part of life. But it is not something we are meant to hold all the time.
Feeling overwhelmed sometimes is human.
Feeling overwhelmed all the time is data – it’s information.
It may be a signal that something needs to shift — your boundaries, your expectations, your systems, your support, or the story you are telling yourself about what you must carry alone.
You do not have to set everything down.
But maybe today, you can set one thing down.
Loosen your hold. You don’t have to carry this alone.
A Small Practice for This Week
The next time you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask yourself:
What am I feeling right now?
What thought is making this feel heavier?
What is actually mine to do today?
What can wait, be delegated, or be released?
What is one next step I can take?
Not ten steps.
One.
Because sometimes the way through overwhelm is not to solve the whole thing.
It is to return to yourself, remember what matters, and take the next right step.